i had bought you second hand
handed you off into bad custody
you said you felt deserted and abused
by the way we reunited
and the good times
are killing me.

you surfed the board of kindness
but then you reached the shore.
your slaves rowed you home
in a peace boat
while you watched oliver twist
mopping the paneled floor.

just another lonesome rider
sailing round the world
on the shoulders of giants
the wind in his face and
his back up against the wall

with a bit of an edge

you've been known for your folksy manner
and you did an outstanding job
playing russian roulette

and then co-sleeping in the captain's bed.
we just came here for relaxation
down the road to somewhere
at a place called hope-

there's marble floors
and a french double bed
there's an oasis of health
and a handsome bachelorette.

just trust the king,
he's warmhearted and cunning
with a bit of an edge.

why'd you say you're ugly
when daddy called you beautiful.
why'd you claim you're sick in the head
mommy always praised your mind.
you suffer from perfect health
and we love you all the same.
yes we love you all the same.

you asked

all the wrong questions
i gave
all the right answers
you frowned
and turned away
now you want to be my friend?

today i talked
to the picture of dorian grey.
i let him know
i'd never face his face.

before i killed your heart

do you remember your life
the life you led
the life you had
before i killed your heart

your lips were full and red
your hips were round and rich
you wore
aristocratic cheekbones
before i killed your heart

you dyed your hair
you blushed your face
mascara masked your eyes
before i killed your heart

and now you're raw
your nature shows
the paint has dried
the face has greyed

and finally you're beautiful
now that I’ve killed your heart

embers shoot up into the air
this hillside ignites once again
million dollar mansions are going up in flames

we're just hoping
the weather will hold out today
the winds are going to be intense

the grinders are the engine of the boat

a controversive billboard
(it advertised on lifelong love)
is swallowed by flames
give a toast to the title

ode to saigon

i had no idea
what i was getting myself into
when i boarded a plane to saigon

for what did i know about explosively formed projectiles?

remember when we sewed the patches for my winter jeans
then used duct tape to glue the windshields of yesterday
remember when we listened to each others dreams
then departed. both losing our own way

later on in our car
saw the red lights on the street
we drove by as we talked
laughed and drank , spat and weeped


and we drove off the ridge
though the night was still young
and began to realize
our lives had not just begun

we were old
this was it
that's as far as it goes
we crashed into the sea
and (we) died where the cold wind blows

though we came up for air
in the morning light
we chose death over life
and traded grace in for blight

so you see it's as i said
and i guessed you would know
i would run along and not watch you as you go

oceans run dry
endless love will die
baptists are reborn
lovers treat you with scorn

if i were a prince

if i were a prince

i would love to live in a castle
that looks out over the sea
to have the horizon begin
right before my balcony.

if i were a fairy
i would love to take your wishes
into gentle consideration
i would calmly revise them
and make sure to find out
what you really do miss

if i were you
i would try to fall in love
and if i were you
i would know how to

home is where you miss the least

today is our day
both of us lonely
counting
raindrops on dry leaves
and cars with no wheels.

i hate california
but i do love your face

days in bed by myself
if i lived here
i'd work here too
a photograph on the shelf
a scotch on the rocks

today is our day
both of us lonely
counting teardrops on dry sheets
home is where you miss the least
home is where you miss the least

hey there

hey hows it going
it’s going
nowhere you know and thats an answer too
hey you're kinda funny
may i have your number
sure
may i scratch it on your back
sure
your nails are pink and red and wet
so will i see you again
who knows
maybe
okay
sounds great
i love you
you know
i know
i get that quite a bit
i see
well lets fuck
sounds perfekt to me
i guessed so
you're hot
i know
i get that a lot

brave

version 1

Dive into the future
as the past crumbles yet remains
take away the good times
make the new world stay
-brave

Get buried in your freedom
lift the barriers of loneliness
And in their day-to-day brawls
play the mystery guest



version 2


Dive into the future
as the past crumbles away
take away the good times
make the new world stay
-brave

Get buried in your freedom
lift the barriers of loneliness
And in their day-to-day race
play the mystery guest

can't find no rose without a thorn
the cabman thought and blew his horn
at the old lady in the crimson coat
who had so much trouble crossing the road

bar tale

"will you take my advice",
the barman demanded from the man in black.
"aye" replied the drunkard in a voice mirroring the vast indifference in his soul.
he was old, yet not too old to cure his condition. his eyes were young and blue and despite the wrinkles around his eyes he still looked fresh-faced but for the desperation, covered by a shade of dullness, showing in his bright blue eyes.

"i've seen them come and i've seen them go", the barman set off, "regular guests like you, that is."
the drunkard moved his head from side to side.
"and honest to god", continued the barman, "i was more than glad whenever one of them didn't show up here anymore. it makes me believe they have found something else to live for. it makes me believe we are not lost, even though we are. chances are they just deceased, you know? i know that. i know they might not have found a way out, that their lives just ended, just like this. but the fact that i don't know what happened to them gives me a weird confidence, a trust in the ways of life which i sometimes miss. for a week or so, i feel relieved."

"i see", nodded the regular guest in agreement. he did not intend to interrupt the bartender's lament. he had listened to a lot of bartenders' rapports in his life, he'd seen them come and he'd seen them go. it made him feel like some kind of real-life psychiatrist, a kind of therapist visiting people at their workplace, to make them feel more comfortable about the therapy sessions.
and he got paid in pints.

“what I’m trying to let you know”, and the barman’s voice rose to emphasize the importance of the following
“if I were not to see you here tomorrow I’d be more than glad. If you stayed away till next Monday, you would make my week. And if you left this place behind for good, you would contribute a great deal to what they call salvation”

the customer was thoroughly startled after these words had been uttered, picked up his raincoat, reached into his pockets to produce a few loose coins and throw them on the counter, then looked up to meet the bartender’s gaze. “I may have had enough,” he nodded with a smile, “so long!”

And as he closed the wooden door behind him it finally and suddenly occurred to him why men tended to travel from bar to bar every night, and sometimes from town to town, too, when they were looking for new public spots to spend the more vicious parts of their nights, always on the run, never even semi- settling down to a pub they could fondly call “their own”.
It was not for the sake of adventure or in order to share their sad stories with another patient listener.
It was just to save the bartenders from shame.
And he thought this a rather noble cause while he buttoned up his coat and decided to get on a bus.

spring rolls














food food.

pecan caramel ice cream.