here we go again

you're full of magic
on a symbolic judgement day
you know your own politics
appear in our court
wait for interrogations

you've made positive changes
in other people's lives
a volunteer on a mission
governing a bee hive

you ran for an office
then backed out to save your soul
we've teamed up for good
to follow my goals
but can we run again?

Old melancholy

and so i see you for the first time
in almost three years
and i'm thrilled to hear
you're fine

a playboy prince
and teenage icon
your mood reflecting
the agony of a nation

can we meet at starbucks baby
for a paper cup of iced coffee
and a sip of cold melancholy.
Would you join me?

and i listen as you
illuminate your needs
and i let you go ahead-
impeach my security

let you recall our common
history of bad odds
and picture a recreation
holiday on ko pha ngan

we've joined here in evolution
the tensions are high
but we've learned a lot
we've really learned a lot.

Im Zug setzte sich ein Mann neben mich,
der schon lange allein gelebt hatte.
Er war unhöflich,
ich war freundlich.
Er war missmutig,
ich war frohen Mutes.
Er redete,
ich hörte ihm zu.
Er schenkte mir Geld
und lobte meine gute Erziehung.
Er stieg aus,ich blieb zurück.

das schreckgespenst mit dem ich lebe
dem ich meine zukunft gebe
dem ich mich tag für tag verbeugte,
lachte, wachte, kinder zeugte
das mich tag für tag zum lügen zwingt
und neben mir dir nacht verbringt
meine angst stillt seinen zorn
bis zum morgen und immer von vorn.
ich bin zu schwach um aufzugeben
doch im feuertod des lebens
müh ich mich tag für tag -vergebens

nicht jeder fortschritt ist ein sieg
wer nicht redet wird verurteilt
wir hätten unser leben friedlich
beenden können - noch gestern
aber wir haben
dinge verändert
den abgrund bestaunt
das leben verpönt
die angst verleugnet
den hass verdrängt
die gefühle geweckt.
eines nachts kam die gestapo
oder die rote armee
doch wir sind nicht beeindruckt
nur verschreckt.
und wir sind nicht geflohen
wir haben uns nur versteckt.
und wir warten in den löchern
bis ihr elendig verreckt.

baby needs a last name

could you

applaud our inability
promote the catch of the day
ban success for infinity
progress in time without delay

listen like a child
discuss life with a smile
understand not a word tonight
be a doctor of denial
force some heart to fly

how to survive

don't hate yourself
light both ends of all candles
stare at beauty in sheer reverence
cry "no future"
live fast, die young

we gotta find them then get lost again
forever howling at the moon
with eyes lit like christmas trees
three rights make one left
and after all we are alone.

The Animal Kingdom

The easy birds are very social
and the bees all join the tail-waggers' dance
life is limited to spring
only the male birds sing.

love is when there's no other option

-
-
-
-

the eyes of lucy jordan

people always talk much but sometimes never say a lot
and everyone's shallow and everyone's vain
and if you do have a heart you'd better build a wall around it,
lock the door, swallow the key and play the game,
be shallow, be vain.
and then we wake up, and we're 30 or 40 or 50
and we keep telling ourselves
that every summer we had was a summer of '69
and we find there's not a dream left to fail
and that the fruits we bruised
make the wine we'll drink for dinner
but at least we've been there, done that.
and i'll be wearing your t-shirt.

you don't have a health plan but you tie your laces twice,
you don't have a lover but you're looking for a wife,
to buy a brand new mactop you have sold your old guitar
make all your old friends ponder who you were and where you are
i'm a slave to no one but the mirror and the knife,
but turn the lights off and we'll look alike.

Friend of Mine

Bring the night in with a starry sky
hold your hand up in a ray of smiles
find a passion
and survive.

Live tomorrow like you never lived today
and if the queen of hearts won't take your pain
search for soul
instead.

Ask the pious adorer what is on her mind
take a tooth for a tooth and give an eye
choose a wilder dream
and try.

Be the stubborn brat i met a hundred years ago
stop looking at that open door
start over
and aim low.

life is a sell-off and we don't do returns.

are you busy reading your own diary
teenage lust for blood and disappointment
for you i'll act the 17-year-old
the times have changed, the toy hasn't grown
the dream hits the fan and the phantom lives on.

he did it with her, did it for her
did it on behalf of her
did it to be half of her.

now she'ws none of his
he's all hers
the simple mathematics
of educated jerks.

ready to beg

i am hopeful
without compromising
make your own definition of torture.

taken a big step backward
what sort of weather is heading your way?

see what happens

there isn't that much work to do,
a lot of people who are judging
on all sides of it.

starting at the top of the hour
we will grow up and become better
right after this.

see these kids foaming
now after the promises
see the brutal reality

fill the time
pack the house
what do you want to prove?

it's gonna move quickly
i can beat you to the podium
i might

no title

get shot for people magazine
live up to their ideals
we've seen it in your eyes
we've read it in your thighs
have some prozac, it'll be alright
and a leaf of lettuce on the side

so goodnight, my friend, goodnight

I'll tell you again how I'm happy here
I don't have them and I don't have her
but I have my tobacco and burbon and beer.
And everyone ends up somewhere.

hush hush

feast on youth and truth
seize the blame to rest assured
always strive for sacrifice
make the holy temple of jerusalem
shine more dignified and bright.

It's a hostile night
See the fortune teller
in the twilight?

I don't think the undercover goddess
is meant to move so passionately
but don't ask me, please
I'm the black sheep of the trinity.

you're my muse

and you did a good job-
i'm perfectly amused.

i hope you ate your pickles
and conquered morning sickness
i know your sore nipple tickles
your body is pretty much a pretty mess

a bun in the oven
as the birds fly south
if i were andy warhol
i'd paint a picture of your open mouth
cause it's so in your face.

We greet the new life
with a shaking cane,
cherish the old days
and neglect the urging pain.

We grow out of our ideals,
choose new coats
but keep our underwear
reel down the traveled roads
have no more time to spare

Can't stop counting the cost
Can't run away from what we're not
Can't help loving the lost
Can't change or breathe a lot.

My brother my brother my brother
I'm like you and you're more
and less than me
raw and leaking and all strings attached
I want to meet you with your pants down


Sliding down a fairy tale mountain
rolling tripping running apart
into the freedom of slavery
holding up the yoke of depression
the merits of a past life
my scars are perfectly in fashion.
_____
////

----

You paid a fortune for an honest smile
our mother cried because you called.
You cannot name your true profession
the night guest is a fancy sport.

You did not need another brother
nor were you ever looking for a friend.
Your partner is a handy liaison
the baby swells your chest with pride.

Your breath feels toxic like the raindrops,
your mirror image is is an outrage
though you decorate your face with care.
You live the high life of a starving age
- my brother.

The Emperor Jones

Kiss me Judas cause I'm lonesome
Cover me Mary cause I'm proud .
I shall make love to virgin angels
I shall burn in heaven's limelight
I'll mess with you and take you home.

If you obey Luke, I'm your father,
Icarus is my firstborn son.
Let's leave Orpheus down the gutter,
his love was no more true than strong.

Emperors wear our crimson garments
the black flag is raised in our backyard
the winds we whipped will ebb out slowly
their dying breath's a wicked howl

On the gallow ground we spot our bowels
the faceless man will take me home
and a pointed voice demands so calmly
"Do you get depressed a lot?" - the grim reaper is counting bones.

bells toll

the life we'd built was full of cupcakes
tonight they tore the old town down
the tomb we saved produced no shelter
the cry you faked went with your charms

your love has walked some ghastly alleys
but noone ever died there in your arms.
and your little baby's scolding mommy
now wears a pauper princes' paper crown.

the lovely lights of dying cities
confused or bruised but never harmed
they leave a tumor bulge beneath our chestbones
and a silver haze on musky dawns

when we lay still awake at full alarm,
back in the pitfalls of our wedding bed,
and they spotted us with purple stains
i'll claim we'd tried to crawl but ran instead.

hey please-

face your talent
waste your heart
ease up again
and shade some light.
be a friend to them

take a snapshot
with your tongue out
hug a streetlight
shout an unknown name

run into the teenage idol
kill a lame bug on the way
and please don't even
try to get there
choose to mind not what they say.

stay blind,
live
digest
and fade the grey

tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

today i'll go out and spot some trains
tomorrow i will teach myself to play guitar
then the harp and finally the harmonica
and i won't get bored, i'll be so busy with myself
i'll remember the words of all the pretty songs
and at nights i'll file my collection of ancient italian coins
and play all the early albums by pink floyd.

and while i find myself greeting new daylight with scorn
i make this body run into the woods at the break of dawn
my legs still work, they do, and i have to prove
like i always have to prove

i will cover the stains on my walls with several layers of paint
wash my sheets into a whiteness that is quite a pain to maintain
and when i see you smile i'll force my eyes to faint
(like an empty heart can't handle a full stomach)
but i hope you'll smile again

sugarplum fairy or how the day wasn't saved

Streets lie dried up like in summer
trees carry crisp and yellow leaves
and their black and broken branches
grant no shade and no relief.

My arms sink slowly while i"m walking
no more pockets left to fill
By thoughts of blossoms, roofs and bedsteads
my tongue starts dancing to a smell.

She sells sweet plums by the roadside
but they cost a freedom each
my hands are empty like the sunset
my foolish arms stay out of reach.

A heart keeps pounding for a long mile
i have passed the magic scent
the smell will linger just a little while
it tastes staler in the end.

daddy

i saw your girl the other night
you know the one you made
your faithfull wife
she's got what it should have taken
not so much your clandestine
love affair
she's gross
i feel for you and mom and her

Thinking of

thinking of
peculiar eyelashes
and fake white hair
along with deadly diseases
and infant starvation
makes my heart burn like fire
and my head explode from within
maybe i should see my therapist
she's hot and only
59 dollars an hour.

james dean

When they met you
they were shaking
from anxiety
and excitement

And they tried to look closer
look behind
see the real
they saw too much
the spell broke
things will never
be the same again

they recovered

now
you live
A life in pictures
once again

strangers

i heard you having an argument
i heard you making love
i heard her scream out loud
i heard the silence afterwards
i heard you talking gently in the dark
don't fall in love
don't throw the heart a bone.

no title

You know we all got
eclectic taste
and we wear our own clothes too
roofless cars
and tankless tops
useless flowers
just beautiful.

hippie bars
and trash kid glow.
but from time to time
we still get bored
a lot, you know.

John

Time will tell
said the walrus
talking about the end of the world
like it was no big deal.
my life is the best life of all the lives i could have lived
he said
but who wants to die at 39?
so what - i had Yoko.

next door
it's calmer
but let's please
not go there
just yet

i had bought you second hand
handed you off into bad custody
you said you felt deserted and abused
by the way we reunited
and the good times
are killing me.

you surfed the board of kindness
but then you reached the shore.
your slaves rowed you home
in a peace boat
while you watched oliver twist
mopping the paneled floor.

just another lonesome rider
sailing round the world
on the shoulders of giants
the wind in his face and
his back up against the wall

with a bit of an edge

you've been known for your folksy manner
and you did an outstanding job
playing russian roulette

and then co-sleeping in the captain's bed.
we just came here for relaxation
down the road to somewhere
at a place called hope-

there's marble floors
and a french double bed
there's an oasis of health
and a handsome bachelorette.

just trust the king,
he's warmhearted and cunning
with a bit of an edge.

why'd you say you're ugly
when daddy called you beautiful.
why'd you claim you're sick in the head
mommy always praised your mind.
you suffer from perfect health
and we love you all the same.
yes we love you all the same.

you asked

all the wrong questions
i gave
all the right answers
you frowned
and turned away
now you want to be my friend?

today i talked
to the picture of dorian grey.
i let him know
i'd never face his face.

before i killed your heart

do you remember your life
the life you led
the life you had
before i killed your heart

your lips were full and red
your hips were round and rich
you wore
aristocratic cheekbones
before i killed your heart

you dyed your hair
you blushed your face
mascara masked your eyes
before i killed your heart

and now you're raw
your nature shows
the paint has dried
the face has greyed

and finally you're beautiful
now that I’ve killed your heart

embers shoot up into the air
this hillside ignites once again
million dollar mansions are going up in flames

we're just hoping
the weather will hold out today
the winds are going to be intense

the grinders are the engine of the boat

a controversive billboard
(it advertised on lifelong love)
is swallowed by flames
give a toast to the title

ode to saigon

i had no idea
what i was getting myself into
when i boarded a plane to saigon

for what did i know about explosively formed projectiles?

remember when we sewed the patches for my winter jeans
then used duct tape to glue the windshields of yesterday
remember when we listened to each others dreams
then departed. both losing our own way

later on in our car
saw the red lights on the street
we drove by as we talked
laughed and drank , spat and weeped


and we drove off the ridge
though the night was still young
and began to realize
our lives had not just begun

we were old
this was it
that's as far as it goes
we crashed into the sea
and (we) died where the cold wind blows

though we came up for air
in the morning light
we chose death over life
and traded grace in for blight

so you see it's as i said
and i guessed you would know
i would run along and not watch you as you go

oceans run dry
endless love will die
baptists are reborn
lovers treat you with scorn

if i were a prince

if i were a prince

i would love to live in a castle
that looks out over the sea
to have the horizon begin
right before my balcony.

if i were a fairy
i would love to take your wishes
into gentle consideration
i would calmly revise them
and make sure to find out
what you really do miss

if i were you
i would try to fall in love
and if i were you
i would know how to

home is where you miss the least

today is our day
both of us lonely
counting
raindrops on dry leaves
and cars with no wheels.

i hate california
but i do love your face

days in bed by myself
if i lived here
i'd work here too
a photograph on the shelf
a scotch on the rocks

today is our day
both of us lonely
counting teardrops on dry sheets
home is where you miss the least
home is where you miss the least

hey there

hey hows it going
it’s going
nowhere you know and thats an answer too
hey you're kinda funny
may i have your number
sure
may i scratch it on your back
sure
your nails are pink and red and wet
so will i see you again
who knows
maybe
okay
sounds great
i love you
you know
i know
i get that quite a bit
i see
well lets fuck
sounds perfekt to me
i guessed so
you're hot
i know
i get that a lot

brave

version 1

Dive into the future
as the past crumbles yet remains
take away the good times
make the new world stay
-brave

Get buried in your freedom
lift the barriers of loneliness
And in their day-to-day brawls
play the mystery guest



version 2


Dive into the future
as the past crumbles away
take away the good times
make the new world stay
-brave

Get buried in your freedom
lift the barriers of loneliness
And in their day-to-day race
play the mystery guest

can't find no rose without a thorn
the cabman thought and blew his horn
at the old lady in the crimson coat
who had so much trouble crossing the road

bar tale

"will you take my advice",
the barman demanded from the man in black.
"aye" replied the drunkard in a voice mirroring the vast indifference in his soul.
he was old, yet not too old to cure his condition. his eyes were young and blue and despite the wrinkles around his eyes he still looked fresh-faced but for the desperation, covered by a shade of dullness, showing in his bright blue eyes.

"i've seen them come and i've seen them go", the barman set off, "regular guests like you, that is."
the drunkard moved his head from side to side.
"and honest to god", continued the barman, "i was more than glad whenever one of them didn't show up here anymore. it makes me believe they have found something else to live for. it makes me believe we are not lost, even though we are. chances are they just deceased, you know? i know that. i know they might not have found a way out, that their lives just ended, just like this. but the fact that i don't know what happened to them gives me a weird confidence, a trust in the ways of life which i sometimes miss. for a week or so, i feel relieved."

"i see", nodded the regular guest in agreement. he did not intend to interrupt the bartender's lament. he had listened to a lot of bartenders' rapports in his life, he'd seen them come and he'd seen them go. it made him feel like some kind of real-life psychiatrist, a kind of therapist visiting people at their workplace, to make them feel more comfortable about the therapy sessions.
and he got paid in pints.

“what I’m trying to let you know”, and the barman’s voice rose to emphasize the importance of the following
“if I were not to see you here tomorrow I’d be more than glad. If you stayed away till next Monday, you would make my week. And if you left this place behind for good, you would contribute a great deal to what they call salvation”

the customer was thoroughly startled after these words had been uttered, picked up his raincoat, reached into his pockets to produce a few loose coins and throw them on the counter, then looked up to meet the bartender’s gaze. “I may have had enough,” he nodded with a smile, “so long!”

And as he closed the wooden door behind him it finally and suddenly occurred to him why men tended to travel from bar to bar every night, and sometimes from town to town, too, when they were looking for new public spots to spend the more vicious parts of their nights, always on the run, never even semi- settling down to a pub they could fondly call “their own”.
It was not for the sake of adventure or in order to share their sad stories with another patient listener.
It was just to save the bartenders from shame.
And he thought this a rather noble cause while he buttoned up his coat and decided to get on a bus.

spring rolls














food food.

pecan caramel ice cream.