the boys were all planning for a fall

lyrics for my song that has some strong springsteen reference...

2010-05-19T17:13:00.001-07:00

he's hiding with the whispers
that once led him astray
embraced only by the fears
that are too old to decay

they trapped him in a re-run
of the perfect memory
then left him alone to die
in their calm and angry sea

he's still collecting feathers
with his imaginery son
he taught him all that matters
is that she was the one

he's tired enough to wonder
what else might go awry
while he's wide awake and screaming
his own lullaby

he's gloating, cheering,
tongue-in-cheek,
and he's arming up
for yet another last defeat

he's reaching for the tunnel
and the luring light back there
and he's running downhill singing
"No retreat, baby, no surrender"
No retreat, baby, no surrender
No retreat, baby, no surrender
No retreat, baby, no--
.

text

2010-05-19T17:11:00.001-07:00

We abandon our brothers
kiss good-bye our parents - with delight
leave the sun behind
and make sure we know we're right

we grow up to be righteous fools
but we don't grow up to be strong
we hide under the hemlines
of our teachers all along

we disregard our elders
and smile down at our young
the only prophet we believe in
holds a gun

we stand blindfolded by our lovers
and cannot wait to blind someone
but when we outcrawl the sleeper's covers
our legless army has marched on.

we chew down on the grass
of many pastures over time
and we're swallowing too fast
to ever feel just fed and fine

we long for the royal saviors
of our lonely peasant souls
and by the time they've found us
we bemoan our loss of goals

we repeat all our mistakes
till they feel right in our hearts
or resurface on our graves
in our nightmare epitaphs

we teach our little brothers
there are defenses to be built
they'll learn to lock out others
they'll learn to lock away the guilt

we put our children down as traitors
so they'll grow up just like us
with a repertoire of past endeavors
the comprehension of an infant
and a heart of glass.

we're out of time to make concessions
so we ask life to smile for us
but we can't wipe away those grim expressions
even if it does.

and despite the years we're undergoing
we don't change, we just feel worn
we never live to our liking
and we pray to be reborn.

2009-09-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

fumbles through a wooden prayer
surrenders to the wistful smiles
its beauty - passed on by the sober and the sane -
flickers like a billboard.

geezuz

2009-07-13T18:48:00.001-07:00

watched a handsome mohel
take the romper off
hissed
an eerie clash of cultures
before the break of dawn

tossed an offertory dime
waved at the congregation
bowed before the shrine
and left the flaunting party
for nightlife scenery.

In response to "The New Morality"

2009-05-08T18:56:00.000-07:00

I am writing you to express
how strongly i detest
the way you portrayed my home
in your middle-class newspaper column.

Although we welcomed you attendance
at the modest party i threw the other night,
everybody knew
you didn't belong there
the moment you entered my beautifully crafted beach house
in your pin-stripe suit.

i offered you a comfortable flannel shirt
because i know about the importance
of mingling
for an undercover journalist
yet you insisted that our fashion
would hurt your eyes and burgoise mind.

so you exerted the charms
of a slave of the working class
- as the spitting image of the pool entertainment girl
you took a pitiful fancy in.

of course in any other context
you would volunteer to declare
that nudity should be exclusive to Vegas and pay TV.

So i find it remarkable
that you would make it your mission
to put the word on the street
that you met a unique pack of hypocrites
when you came to my haven of recreation
as a suppressed teenage werewolf
craving to push the button
or rather,
with regards to your anxious nature,
have your buttons pushed
by a 20-year-old pole dancer champion-

a picture of the negative effects
slave ownership imposes on the simple-minded man.

talk about the corruption of economic superiority.

so when you woke up inexcusably sober
on my lawn chair in the afternoon sunlight,
you ran off very much like a scared cheetah
that had just been caught fornicating with the lioness.
when you pulled your white toyota out of my driveway
you gave the gardener an embarassed wave (you had killed some of my tulips)

and later that day you pulled yourself together
and wrote up the tale of how your respectable
married-with-children-ivy-league status
detests the insencerity of the dissolute nouvelle vogue society.

life is a diet of cupcakes and hotdogs

2008-11-28T14:42:00.001-08:00

and heartburns.

The wail

2008-11-26T20:20:00.000-08:00

like a childhood urge
we all stand innocent now
inside the giant whale
waiting to submerge -
and all eager to bow.

on the shoulders of the giant
the primadonna is yearning to breathe
stardust cloaking her lungs
salt water up to her teeth .

bring new life to abandoned fowls

2008-11-23T12:39:00.000-08:00

the fairhaired friend of vanity
and the cheerful brother of pain
a nirvana of debris, humiliation and shame

an innocent bystander of the perfect crime
a sheep in the desert
a pet in the rain
a shepherd seeking solace
and a clown casting frowns

a cry of resemblance
each night lasts a week
in the prime of life, legs and hearts open wide
an opinion beheld by the bottom of the glass

parting is painful
be prepaired, walk the walk, talk and talk
carry only an emergency kit and the burden to believe
don't walk on the edge
and stand clear of the doors

never too long

2008-09-23T12:30:00.000-07:00

We used to be the shiny patrons
of a lovely empire going down
we let the jugglers and the lions
take care of our frowns

You held your spirits high
i laid my dreams down next to yours
till i was groped by burning fevers
and you ran out of cures.

So we never kissed good-night
beneath the auburn autumn skies
we never met the demons
that stood to be defied
and we never tried.

But we agreed there is still time
and we can surely water down the wine
still you should know
-although all my thoughts always come back to you-
i might be getting tired
somewhere down the line.

Safe tonight

2008-09-23T12:25:00.000-07:00

the room smells of parafine and beer
and durex ultra light
the stains illustrate the scent
we've broken every right
all that's left is bent
The doormat in the doorway smiles
and cries "darling, looking good tonight!"

"we should make babies!"
"i don't know", I said,
"i mean,
high cheekbones
and low self-esteem
we're certainly two of a kind
but who knows if we'll end up together,
i mean, apart from tonight".

So we talk
till there's nothing left but loss
for the both of us
the way we look tonight
doesn't make anything right
and again we realize
as we sit and watch the youth go by
that life goes on, but why.

no title

2008-09-15T10:44:00.000-07:00

the highs are high
the lows are low
you're driven to a fall
because you got nowhere to go

you collect the traces
of a miracle dressed in blue
and it mirrors all the faces
of the one woman you knew

you were governed by circumstance
and your soft-featured opium friend
who took you through this sequence
in a lightless train

in trite words you gave an overview
of your straightforward baby soul
you made an attempt to declare
where you were coming from
but you looked like her cathedral
in the desert sun

so you hunt down the details
when all she had was love
and you're burying your luck
like it's a thankless task.

lyrics

2008-09-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

and like the weddings
and bar mitzvahs
we celebrate
the anniversary

of the worst day
and the worst year
we have so far
lived to see

as in the worst fears
of those who haven't
started drinking
-just yet

cause they knew to
suppress the dreaming
by reaching only for
what they could get.

at times we'd tell them
we are orphans
to give explanations
for the pain

and then we teach them
it is not right
to apologize
for their gains

cause they'd donate
all they care about
until there's nothing left
but the birthday cake

because they're so stuck
and so confused
that they trust we know
what is at stake

so like pets
we raise them inside
to protect them
from the grief

cause if we loved something
we'd let it go
but if we love someone
we leave.

so we travel
to the other side
to find the green grass
that we left

and the orphans
tell their stories
of their failures
and distress

and they cross their legs
and wait to see
whatever happens
to their fairy plot

cause we still believe
we have a fair chance
until rock covers paper
and then what?

and it's time
and it's time
and we tell them
there's no way

"cause i"m an ocean
i'm an airplane
i'm a man
and i am free".

draft

2008-09-12T12:09:00.000-07:00

the orphaned kids and dealers are running for the door
the old man with the bear traps stops to wonder
what he's been hunting for...
the rebels in the backyard are singing "mon amour"....

what tom said to sarah who wasn't there

2008-09-09T12:37:00.001-07:00

i walked in with no expectations
you left with no goodbye
and between "fuck you"
and "come back"
i'm torn apart
by a broken heart
that i have to hide.

the clocks ain't moving
the days won't go by
they stopped at "come back"
"with the truth or with a lie".

and i hate
to realize
that i'm a child
i'm a child
i dream like a child
i play like a child
i am a toy like a child
i am a fool like a child
i am naive like a child
even when i say that i'm a big boy now
i am guilty like a child
i have done that and bought t-shirts
from everywhere i've been
and i haven't learned a thing.

strange child

2008-09-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

then you said there's time for us "if nothing intervenes"
and i howled at my limited window of luck
but my plans are greater than my secrets
and they're both fighting in my dreams

and your heart burns in pace
with the ailments of the brave
who start from scratch every night
so you knock down the pillows
and watch the bridges fall
but the child in your mind
feels left behind
and it's reaching for another guide

so you walk out taking the memory
of an episode in the symphony
like a man of great civility
full of nightmares and uncertainty
and there's no one at the door who cares.

before (draft)

2008-09-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

before the tired eyes of time took a close-up shot of the truth behind the lies
before the beast they all liked better than the man put itself to sleep and died
before all the signs of kindness were withdrawn with just one word
before silence broke the tired cheers you deny you ever heard

before we fought down the sparkling mirage of being in control
before the golden dawn shed daylight over the most eternal goal

that's when we believed.
that's when we had it all.

.....

2008-08-21T16:29:00.000-07:00

i am pony with a vampire's teeth
i kissed a young girl's distressed life away
i am a phony with a coward underneath
i put the wife to shame and had the mistress stay

i am life
and i gave you grapefruit juice
i gave you reason to decide
and bitterness to choose

i am a yellow-spotted lizard
i found a radiating stone
then the seasons changed
and i was left alone.

2008-08-21T16:20:00.000-07:00

he said life is a limited window of luck
and love is a hooker on a rainy day

people watch it with facetted eyes
and they miss the big picture
and on their way home they're led astray
by the sweet nectars and miracle lights.

drAFT....

2008-08-21T14:00:00.000-07:00

instead of wine we had white tea
to celebrate a naked angel
with a fat stomach
and a stubborn glee.

Have a safe trip,
fugitive baby devil!
(or devil baby)

entering the contest
of the human race
with a content look
on a corrupt face

Have a safe trip through the fire blaze!

get cozy with the governess

Learn to listen
to the tiger's sore old serenade
learn to talk
and learn to watch
the claret evening sky

you'll have a safe trip on this side.

You'll find your slogans
on the walls
but it doesn't feel
like they belong-

they scream
"against all odds
i love you true"
but all the words sound wrong.

(you'll) strut down open boulevards
of youthful charms
then fall into contempt

abhor the birthdays
and the coward
protect the grown man
and the child
chase the windmills
and fight the butterflies.

get a hand on a gun
and play it
all night long.

Quench the fire
with the (only) blanket
turn raisin-white and
sleep out on the porch alone

have a safe journey,
stepchild of a bitter city
have a safe flight
nevermind the zombies
hovering by.

draft...needs,,,,work

2008-08-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

these days
the lessons sink in slower
and not every birthday means you're growing up
the stars are hanging lower
and you can act like you have never been in love

these days
a handshake is as good as an embrace
there's no uniqueness here to glorify
since the magic went (down) with her face
and since you learned she, too, has to get by.

These days
we've outgrown our stale distress
cherish the friends who pulled us through
make up with those who left
and depart those we outgrew

these days
the nights are tinged in neon lights
we all stand where we don't belong
and we sing to tell our plights
but in our hearts we don't believe
the angry youth was wrong.

Imagine

2008-08-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

Imagine
a nation of disbelievers
with no sense of purpose
and a notion of faith gone wrong
spitting on a Buddha
and actually having fun.

to be one of us (back in the day)

2008-08-01T13:09:00.000-07:00

run from an abusive world
with every hair in place
never show the back of your head
and make sure to hide your face

retract the air
and drown your lungs
in septic tar and honesty
learn how much you do not care
celebrate some backyard anarchy
lose ground fast
and drift free

and if you can - do never walk away.
-
-

no title either

2008-08-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

you call yourself a poet
because you read books and paid fees
and now you know the strategies

I call myself a singer
because i read about a song
and now i'm reading about rhinos
because i want to claim i'm strong.

no title

2008-08-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

So you say you're feeling better
with your hands tied to your back
and your knees down on the floor
and in the vicious face of freedom
you turn around and beg for more

Behind impenetrable nicotine bars
and tainted glass
and under heaps of panties and bras
your childhood kingdom of adventure
has resigned at last

You picture catastrophes
and it always involves another love
you listen too much
to that ape on your back
though you call it "guidance from above"

Just give that monkey
a piggyback ride
and then kiss good-bye that gun
quit frowning at the night
and join our anxious world of fun.

Dear Mom,

2008-08-01T12:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't called you
but I am still as good as gold
or just as you remember me

I am pure and i made everything my fault
I have found new friends I care about
I am clear-headed now that I have lost what I did not deserve
I lost it by leaving it behind
I left it because I chose to be free
and then I messed with every girl in town.
I built a reputation there - with pleasure
My life has been disrupted
but i have plans
I am looking at a clean slate
I feel safer now that I have fallen
I am no longer eating on the past
tonight i am going out on a date
i love you

Patrick

i dont know a thing (rev)

2008-07-08T13:27:00.002-07:00

a promise you never made is not a promise you never broke
a donkey who lifted a weight is not a bull who challenged the yoke

the player is not the one holding the cards
the true creator has never studied the arts

a gentle man is not mimed by guy in a suit
a fearless lady is not a girl with an attitude

the man on his knees is the man most afraid to fall
while the sceptic is the most passionate one of them all

but a sober thought is not a vision to change the world
and a view screamed to pieces can never again be unfurled

the doors closed before you will not help you open a window
and the ease and grief of today will sit right here till tomorrow

the lovers who shape us are the companions we once tried to hate
our happiness is not a post trembling at the end of the road of fate

cause our dreams never fit the lives we are made for
see you can't sell your love but you can still be a whore

until the doctors will treat you for your blatant lies
when you get tacky and wild and cry at life

which you think is best described as a cheap bore

but sir- is he a madman who is facing the unopen door?

draft

2008-07-06T13:33:00.000-07:00

wailing at your future
(the one you once scetched out in wet cement)
at personal problems and recent events
and the surprising simplicity of dropping amends

hurting, hiding and confused
you claim you lost your authenticity
and common sense
along the last or the first of those fruitless errands

running out of strength
to guard your precious
ancient monuments
and too blind to jump the fence.

you're not sideshow personel
you're the leading actor in a weeknight show
so let go, let go, let go.

"some things gold are made in china"
i saw you jumping at the hint
now you're smiling like the mona lisa
while you maintain you're just a print/

hot town

2008-07-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

it's summer in the city
time to botox your integrity
get painted like an emergency
and have a ball cause we're so free/

cover up your sevens
hang your aces out to dry
grease your meat in sunscreen
and take the muscles for a fry/

lay the lucky looks you're downpaying
out there for a display
and remember that you're here to stay
just like ice cream on a hot summer day/

2008-07-03T15:04:00.000-07:00

you walked across the water on the backs of dead fish
you swam to the bottom of the ocean and made a wish
you loaded your home onto stretchers and biers
and let the anger lead you to the fear.

and every night you find yourself
in a room full of desperate homecoming queens
still seeing things that aren't there
and every night you lose yourself
trying to find out what it means.

still yearning to breathe free?

2008-06-30T13:42:00.001-07:00

well too bad.
there's no such thing.
let the vultures eat your soul out
and if you can, throw them a grin.

if

2008-06-30T13:38:00.000-07:00

"if you could be anything you want, what would you be?" i asked.

"a driver".

"what would you drive?" i asked.

"a bomb-proof tank".

"so no one can get in?" i asked.

"so no one can get out".

2008-06-22T14:15:00.000-07:00

you're making an effort
to recall all the personal psychology
you collected and embraced when growing old
and fail to match it
with what you're told
by your most puzzling, challenging case yet
all i can say is
she's got life figured out
life
and what you are all about.

to an old friend

2008-06-22T14:14:00.000-07:00

and why do i still want to
paint the sky blue for you
send you off to slay the dragon
sneak into the fortress
and reconquer the girl's heart

-when you can just pop a pill?

because i want you to go for the moon and the stars and the million dollars.

You both live here now

2008-04-29T11:52:00.000-07:00

With the gravity of a page's silent plight
he's dragging his leg along
while his eyes are tracing the sidewalk
for trash and bottles and coins

you can tell he is talking
and in your language, too
by the rhythm of his lips-
quivering as he goes

but you don't hear a sound
except for the uproar
of a million minivans
speeding up and honking horns
as the traffic lights have turned
and the audience moves on.

title

2008-04-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

drawing from exclusive sources
like walking aid applications
and food you don't need to chew
we will show you how to rely on
the help of people you despise
who will treat you like babies
and airheaded seashells
after a life of achievement
or at least wriggling-your-way-through.

they will change your diapers
cut your meat (and your mashed potatos, too)
ask painful questions they don't expect an answer to
and teach you to sit still and shut up and tremble and drool.

you don't know me yet

2008-04-29T11:42:00.000-07:00

i'm just a voice in a line
and maybe in your head
and i'd like to keep it that way

but if you ever see a pretty girl
stamping down a field of flowers
too careless to look around

then i'll be the one
just sitting there
and watching her
and curiously witnessing
all the beauty disappear.
and you might see me frown.

I was so genuinely shocked,,,,

2008-04-29T11:31:00.000-07:00

by the way the first lady
smiled on American Idol
(while disgracing all Africa
by telling shameless lies)
with the same milky, vacant eyes
as the brainwashed mothers and wives
who were passionately preaching
on the fairy tale lives
of their half-grown daughters
who had daddy's babies and daddy's eyes

,,,,,that i changed the channel
to watch the supernanny
taking away a little girl's pacifier
with a malevolent smile.
i turned the tv off and the radio on
and i listened for a moment to "been a son".

pragmatics

2008-03-30T18:10:00.000-07:00

the street is paved with dead red ants
and lizards wearing frowns
the startled kids in the back seat
are learning to count down
pools of liquid cinderblocks
are gathering round the trees
daddy claims he'd seen it coming
while mommy disagrees.

all the traffic lights have turned to stop
and it's raining cats and dogs
something is closing down on us
with an air of grand indifference
the time has stopped at 8:15
you can see it on the clocks

you think a smile will pull us through?
well, that's an optimistic view -
i'd rather find a gun.

Our Father

2008-03-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

we've beaten swords into plowshares
offered the other cheek also
we drank our milk with honey
until hell froze over.

pushed camels through needles,
smoked luckies instead
sought peace and pursued it
in bombs and terror threats.

stood up with endurance
fell down like men
and feared no evil
forever and again.

all the demons
did not break our faith
come hell or high water
we'll forgive each other
just to bore you to death.
amen.

rebirth

2008-03-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

we screamed believe it, feel it, and you did
you learned to overcome disappointment
(we should never have written you off)

behind the scenes with open eyes
you're awarded with exclusive
reflections of dakota
where the grass is always green

your face is the finest source of a smile
it's your single biggest high
you can draw the veil
and welcome to the world.
it is still sunday.

*

leaving las vegas (lyrics)

2008-03-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

when you walked away to find the world
you left a world behind
(for someone else to take)
to chase your peace of mind.

you left for vegas, then the canyons
you left to be a wall street man
you left to find some new companions
but if you left for love you left in vain

like a fool
on an odyssey
running from somewhere
into nobody's arms
again

you gambled on luck
you lived life in the fast lane
you cheated on your own true friends
one man's loss is another man's gain

as the walls started closing down on you
you tried to back the right horse once again
you gambled on reality
one more bet you couldn't quite maintain

all the casinos are on fire
and the gambler hits the road
at the heart of his desire
there's no love and no reproach

like a fool
on an odyssey
running from somewhere
into nobody's arms
again

midsummer

2008-03-15T16:25:00.000-07:00

the green country is a vast island
with a wrinkled coastal string
a simple smile is melting the ice
during the freezing winter
of late spring
for the first time
since the vikings.

future

2008-03-13T18:44:00.000-07:00

and in my memories
the lines on your face disappear
the piercing edge in your voice
sounds soothing and mellow in my ears
your startled expression melts into
an understanding smile
your awkward limp is a motion of genuine grace
the night is alight

the stifling heat is a gentle caress on my spotless skin
we're both witty and knowing
with a great sense of humor
full of true feeling and rich on inspiration
i make you like me and i like you to pieces
oh the future is good in my memories.

2008-02-17T09:13:00.000-08:00

Why on earth did they decide
to feast on your rotten liver tonight
we all know from previous alcohol experience
about the acid taste of the remains of indifference

What made them believe
your shaky heart wanted to leave
this shaken world behind?
where on earth did they take your classic mind.

Your tongue is dry
your breath is absent
the smell of decay is in the air
and in all the shiny gold you wear

The children are gathering at the gate
to stare at the latest victim of love and hate
they cannot turn their eyes from a body
so beautifully naked and unnnaturaly blue.

Acid is leaking
from your plastic lips
a chalk mark is pointing
between your flattened hips

You can read the screaming question
the last silent cry of mourning
forming in your broken mother's eyes
and you're the one who holds the answer
so stop drooling acid and

have the decency to tell her
why on earth you had to die tonight
and why on earth you had to
make it look like suicide.

look at the stars

2008-02-16T17:23:00.000-08:00

*
you say you don't need to know
all the records in his collection.
that there's no meaning in the words
of his favorite songs -
they are all english to you, anyways.

you see no difference in your minds
you don't feel the need to understand
the way he looks at the world
in contemplation.

you think it doesn't matter
that he really loves to travel
and run from comfort and habit formation
while you love to feel at home.

you say all you need is your heart
full of love
and your ever open arms.

and i really want you to be right.
for the sake of you and him
and me and us and them.
but love's not a walk in the park, baby .
*

to an unknown hedonist

2008-02-16T16:45:00.000-08:00

you're an artist, you're a miracle
you are a true magician.

you make the world a better place
by painting smiles on every face
of any friend you got.

you believe in life, and love
and you believe in children
you believe in me
and in eternal youth and spring

you can beam with courtesy
you never turn your back
on anyone
who needs a front to turn to

you give more shelter
than their missions
and you bear more life
than desert rain.

you are the truest of all lovers
and you're the oldest of all friends

and you like me too.

johnnie

2008-02-11T16:38:00.000-08:00

this is kind of an adaption of the song posted below.

so now you're back again
and i'll pay for you in cash
cause you never let me down
and you're my best friend now.

always malty-tanned and always
with your back up against the wall
oh get poured one more time
my friend, take it easy tonight.

i tried
i can't do without you
but why should i?
after all i do like you

no man listens like you do
you never laugh at me
and i don't believe
that you're the devil's own

so johnny,
go strong on me if you like
but i feel like a king tonight
johnnie walker, lalalala.

and then, there's gut feel, too.

2008-01-29T15:18:00.000-08:00

have you ever watched a baby suck the last strength from a mother's heavy breast
have you ever denied that the mary image represents women in revelation
have you ever bought it that the world would be a better place if we all did our best
have you ever felt the need to save up money for your unborn baby's college education

have you ever raged with the black-hooded anarchists
have you ever cried with the abandoned orphan child
have you ever met the mother of your well-feared terrorist
have you ever ........ tried? .....oh well... never mind.

wet explosions

2008-01-21T17:05:00.000-08:00

they tell us we all want to explode real big
so we can be more
than just a splinter in the eye of time
how long does it take you to realize
you're the water that's supposed to be wine.
life is harder when you're sober
the going gets tough with all the water
in your shoes
and every day you read the news.

at twelve i knew i could bring peace
to the middle east
and that i would be invited to the funerals
of sir alec guiness and lady di
(who were by the way quite alive back then)
or that they would talk of me as
a 21st century marc chagall.

i was a professional athlete
back when i was two or ten.
but then i got afraid
that this would be too sweet
so right before the seven mile mark
with a sizable lead
i just let it loose.
(like all the two year olds fall behind)
and everyone read the news.

After Robert was shot and John John died
they told us you or i could be
the next Jackie of Monaco and Kennedy
there'd be lots of exciting amenities -
we might be sent to rehab once in a while
but we could still have the time of our lives
we'd be notorious though we ain't even
pretty - or cute
(it's the appeal of the deformation, maybe)
and every day we'd head the news.

we learned to say i love you
to strangers
as a part of growing up
we've been taught not to burp
(unless we're alone)
and if we deserve a pat on the back
we will call out for a massage instead
we talk about life
and we write about sadness
and we sing about feelings
but we don't have a clue.

The water in our shoes has turned ocean color blue.
and the teenagers claim that the blood
from their tiny scratches
tastes just like the wine that they never knew.
and every day we face the news:

there's a gun in your face and a gun in your back
my love, you're free to choose.

2008-01-09T16:33:00.000-08:00

the colors of the past
are so pretty in the sky
magically they disperse
the questions in our minds

i just close my eyes
to see the rainbows inside
my dreams are golden
and so is the light

daylight killed the nightmares
summer killed the child
friendship killed the love
water blurred the sight

me and you

2008-01-09T16:32:00.000-08:00

addicts of a decaying city
ready for delivery
you and me.

2008-01-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

i like company, i like the city and i like the air .
yet i spend my days in this dark place
cause i cannot bring myself to face
the urging flashlights of despair.

my mother cried, my brother sneered
when i showed my comfy coffin home.
when they failed in leaving me alone,
i closed the lid and disappeared .

this is where the magic happens, sweetheart
you'll be my princess of the night
my muddy pulseless pride and bride
i'll be the graveyard bodyguard.

hey please-

2008-01-01T17:54:00.000-08:00

face your talent
waste your heart
ease up again
and shade some light.
be a friend to them

take a snapshot
with your tongue out
hug a streetlight
shout an unknown name

run into the teenage idol
kill a lame bug on the way
and please don't even
try to get there
choose to mind not
what they say.

stay blind,
live
digest
and fade the grey

are disturbed by your toy of choice and joy?

2008-01-01T17:36:00.000-08:00

i worked as a room boy
just a while ago
i used to be greedy
and I used to be young,
you know.

as the backroom boy i was
i had to take the call girls' calls
and i was to let them in, too,
you know.

they broke my spine and broke my soul
they broke my lovely bones
i was a pretty broken boy-toy
when i was a room boy.

i was young and i was greedy
i got fucked cause you were needy
i got lost in disrespect
I sucked on strap-ons and neglect
I played it rude I played it coy
because i was a room boy

I know - my words make you want to
wash my mouth with soap and yours, too
but we both know
you flicked a greedy tongue at me
just a while ago

here we go again

2007-12-18T15:44:00.000-08:00

you're full of magic
on a symbolic judgement day
you know your own politics
appear in our court
wait for interrogations

you've made positive changes
in other people's lives
a volunteer on a mission
governing a bee hive

you ran for an office
then backed out to save your soul
we've teamed up for good
to follow my goals
but can we run again?

Old melancholy

2007-12-14T16:37:00.000-08:00

and so i see you for the first time
in almost three years
and i'm thrilled to hear
you're fine

a playboy prince
and teenage icon
your mood reflecting
the agony of a nation

can we meet at starbucks baby
for a paper cup of iced coffee
and a sip of cold melancholy.
Would you join me?

and i listen as you
illuminate your needs
and i let you go ahead-
impeach my security

let you recall our common
history of bad odds
and picture a recreation
holiday on ko pha ngan

we've joined here in evolution
the tensions are high
but we've learned a lot
we've really learned a lot.

2007-12-08T13:18:00.001-08:00

Im Zug setzte sich ein Mann neben mich,
der schon lange allein gelebt hatte.
Er war unhöflich,
ich war freundlich.
Er war missmutig,
ich war frohen Mutes.
Er redete,
ich hörte ihm zu.
Er schenkte mir Geld
und lobte meine gute Erziehung.
Er stieg aus,ich blieb zurück.

2007-12-08T13:17:00.001-08:00

das schreckgespenst mit dem ich lebe
dem ich meine zukunft gebe
dem ich mich tag für tag verbeugte,
lachte, wachte, kinder zeugte
das mich tag für tag zum lügen zwingt
und neben mir dir nacht verbringt
meine angst stillt seinen zorn
bis zum morgen und immer von vorn.
ich bin zu schwach um aufzugeben
doch im feuertod des lebens
müh ich mich tag für tag -vergebens

2007-12-08T12:48:00.000-08:00

nicht jeder fortschritt ist ein sieg
wer nicht redet wird verurteilt
wir hätten unser leben friedlich
beenden können - noch gestern
aber wir haben
dinge verändert
den abgrund bestaunt
das leben verpönt
die angst verleugnet
den hass verdrängt
die gefühle geweckt.
eines nachts kam die gestapo
oder die rote armee
doch wir sind nicht beeindruckt
nur verschreckt.
und wir sind nicht geflohen
wir haben uns nur versteckt.
und wir warten in den löchern
bis ihr elendig verreckt.

baby needs a last name

2007-11-22T12:26:00.000-08:00

could you

applaud our inability
promote the catch of the day
ban success for infinity
progress in time without delay

listen like a child
discuss life with a smile
understand not a word tonight
be a doctor of denial
force some heart to fly

how to survive

2007-11-12T13:51:00.001-08:00

don't hate yourself
light both ends of all candles
stare at beauty in sheer reverence
cry "no future"
live fast, die young

we gotta find them then get lost again
forever howling at the moon
with eyes lit like christmas trees
three rights make one left
and after all we are alone.

The Animal Kingdom

2007-11-06T13:08:00.000-08:00

The easy birds are very social
and the bees all join the tail-waggers' dance
life is limited to spring
only the male birds sing.

love is when there's no other option

2007-11-06T10:54:00.000-08:00

-
-
-
-

the eyes of lucy jordan

2007-10-26T04:14:00.000-07:00

people always talk much but sometimes never say a lot
and everyone's shallow and everyone's vain
and if you do have a heart you'd better build a wall around it,
lock the door, swallow the key and play the game,
be shallow, be vain.
and then we wake up, and we're 30 or 40 or 50
and we keep telling ourselves
that every summer we had was a summer of '69
and we find there's not a dream left to fail
and that the fruits we bruised
make the wine we'll drink for dinner
but at least we've been there, done that.
and i'll be wearing your t-shirt.

2007-10-26T04:08:00.000-07:00

you don't have a health plan but you tie your laces twice,
you don't have a lover but you're looking for a wife,
to buy a brand new mactop you have sold your old guitar
make all your old friends ponder who you were and where you are
i'm a slave to no one but the mirror and the knife,
but turn the lights off and we'll look alike.

Friend of Mine

2007-10-17T18:15:00.000-07:00

Bring the night in with a starry sky
hold your hand up in a ray of smiles
find a passion
and survive.

Live tomorrow like you never lived today
and if the queen of hearts won't take your pain
search for soul
instead.

Ask the pious adorer what is on her mind
take a tooth for a tooth and give an eye
choose a wilder dream
and try.

Be the stubborn brat i met a hundred years ago
stop looking at that open door
start over
and aim low.

life is a sell-off and we don't do returns.

2007-10-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

are you busy reading your own diary
teenage lust for blood and disappointment
for you i'll act the 17-year-old
the times have changed, the toy hasn't grown
the dream hits the fan and the phantom lives on.

2007-10-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

he did it with her, did it for her
did it on behalf of her
did it to be half of her.

now she'ws none of his
he's all hers
the simple mathematics
of educated jerks.

ready to beg

2007-10-10T17:25:00.001-07:00

i am hopeful
without compromising
make your own definition of torture.

taken a big step backward
what sort of weather is heading your way?

see what happens

2007-10-07T15:34:00.000-07:00

there isn't that much work to do,
a lot of people who are judging
on all sides of it.

starting at the top of the hour
we will grow up and become better
right after this.

see these kids foaming
now after the promises
see the brutal reality

fill the time
pack the house
what do you want to prove?

it's gonna move quickly
i can beat you to the podium
i might

no title

2007-10-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

get shot for people magazine
live up to their ideals
we've seen it in your eyes
we've read it in your thighs
have some prozac, it'll be alright
and a leaf of lettuce on the side

so goodnight, my friend, goodnight

2007-10-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

I'll tell you again how I'm happy here
I don't have them and I don't have her
but I have my tobacco and burbon and beer.
And everyone ends up somewhere.

hush hush

2007-09-30T17:46:00.000-07:00

feast on youth and truth
seize the blame to rest assured
always strive for sacrifice
make the holy temple of jerusalem
shine more dignified and bright.

It's a hostile night
See the fortune teller
in the twilight?

I don't think the undercover goddess
is meant to move so passionately
but don't ask me, please
I'm the black sheep of the trinity.

you're my muse

2007-09-26T17:20:00.001-07:00

and you did a good job-
i'm perfectly amused.

2007-09-24T14:09:00.000-07:00

i hope you ate your pickles
and conquered morning sickness
i know your sore nipple tickles
your body is pretty much a pretty mess

a bun in the oven
as the birds fly south
if i were andy warhol
i'd paint a picture of your open mouth
cause it's so in your face.

2007-09-23T16:36:00.000-07:00

2007-09-16T19:27:00.000-07:00

We greet the new life
with a shaking cane,
cherish the old days
and neglect the urging pain.

We grow out of our ideals,
choose new coats
but keep our underwear
reel down the traveled roads
have no more time to spare

Can't stop counting the cost
Can't run away from what we're not
Can't help loving the lost
Can't change or breathe a lot.

2007-09-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

My brother my brother my brother
I'm like you and you're more
and less than me
raw and leaking and all strings attached
I want to meet you with your pants down

Sliding down a fairy tale mountain
rolling tripping running apart
into the freedom of slavery
holding up the yoke of depression
the merits of a past life
my scars are perfectly in fashion.
_____
////

----

2007-09-15T19:54:00.000-07:00

You paid a fortune for an honest smile
our mother cried because you called.
You cannot name your true profession
the night guest is a fancy sport.

You did not need another brother
nor were you ever looking for a friend.
Your partner is a handy liaison
the baby swells your chest with pride.

Your breath feels toxic like the raindrops,
your mirror image is is an outrage
though you decorate your face with care.
You live the high life of a starving age
- my brother.

The Emperor Jones

2007-09-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

Kiss me Judas cause I'm lonesome
Cover me Mary cause I'm proud .
I shall make love to virgin angels
I shall burn in heaven's limelight
I'll mess with you and take you home.

If you obey Luke, I'm your father,
Icarus is my firstborn son.
Let's leave Orpheus down the gutter,
his love was no more true than strong.

Emperors wear our crimson garments
the black flag is raised in our backyard
the winds we whipped will ebb out slowly
their dying breath's a wicked howl

On the gallow ground we spot our bowels
the faceless man will take me home
and a pointed voice demands so calmly
"Do you get depressed a lot?" - the grim reaper is counting bones.

bells toll

2007-09-13T16:37:00.000-07:00

the life we'd built was full of cupcakes
tonight they tore the old town down
the tomb we saved produced no shelter
the cry you faked went with your charms

your love has walked some ghastly alleys
but noone ever died there in your arms.
and your little baby's scolding mommy
now wears a pauper princes' paper crown.

the lovely lights of dying cities
confused or bruised but never harmed
they leave a tumor bulge beneath our chestbones
and a silver haze on musky dawns

when we lay still awake at full alarm,
back in the pitfalls of our wedding bed,
and they spotted us with purple stains
i'll claim we'd tried to crawl but ran instead.

hey please-

2007-09-13T04:11:00.000-07:00

face your talent
waste your heart
ease up again
and shade some light.
be a friend to them

take a snapshot
with your tongue out
hug a streetlight
shout an unknown name

run into the teenage idol
kill a lame bug on the way
and please don't even
try to get there
choose to mind not what they say.

stay blind,
live
digest
and fade the grey

tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

2007-09-11T20:20:00.000-07:00

today i'll go out and spot some trains
tomorrow i will teach myself to play guitar
then the harp and finally the harmonica
and i won't get bored, i'll be so busy with myself
i'll remember the words of all the pretty songs
and at nights i'll file my collection of ancient italian coins
and play all the early albums by pink floyd.

and while i find myself greeting new daylight with scorn
i make this body run into the woods at the break of dawn
my legs still work, they do, and i have to prove
like i always have to prove

i will cover the stains on my walls with several layers of paint
wash my sheets into a whiteness that is quite a pain to maintain
and when i see you smile i'll force my eyes to faint
(like an empty heart can't handle a full stomach)
but i hope you'll smile again

sugarplum fairy or how the day wasn't saved

2007-09-05T23:45:00.000-07:00

Streets lie dried up like in summer
trees carry crisp and yellow leaves
and their black and broken branches
grant no shade and no relief.

My arms sink slowly while i"m walking
no more pockets left to fill
By thoughts of blossoms, roofs and bedsteads
my tongue starts dancing to a smell.

She sells sweet plums by the roadside
but they cost a freedom each
my hands are empty like the sunset
my foolish arms stay out of reach.

A heart keeps pounding for a long mile
i have passed the magic scent
the smell will linger just a little while
it tastes staler in the end.

daddy

2007-09-05T23:44:00.000-07:00

i saw your girl the other night
you know the one you made
your faithfull wife
she's got what it should have taken
not so much your clandestine
love affair
she's gross
i feel for you and mom and her

Thinking of

2007-09-05T23:41:00.000-07:00

thinking of
peculiar eyelashes
and fake white hair
along with deadly diseases
and infant starvation
makes my heart burn like fire
and my head explode from within
maybe i should see my therapist
she's hot and only
59 dollars an hour.

james dean

2007-09-05T23:38:00.000-07:00

When they met you
they were shaking
from anxiety
and excitement

And they tried to look closer
look behind
see the real
they saw too much
the spell broke
things will never
be the same again

they recovered

now
you live
A life in pictures
once again

strangers

2007-09-05T23:35:00.000-07:00

i heard you having an argument
i heard you making love
i heard her scream out loud
i heard the silence afterwards
i heard you talking gently in the dark
don't fall in love
don't throw the heart a bone.

no title

2007-09-05T23:33:00.000-07:00

You know we all got
eclectic taste
and we wear our own clothes too
roofless cars
and tankless tops
useless flowers
just beautiful.

hippie bars
and trash kid glow.
but from time to time
we still get bored
a lot, you know.

John

2007-09-05T23:30:00.000-07:00

Time will tell
said the walrus
talking about the end of the world
like it was no big deal.
my life is the best life of all the lives i could have lived
he said
but who wants to die at 39?
so what - i had Yoko.

2007-09-05T23:29:00.000-07:00

next door
it's calmer
but let's please
not go there
just yet

2007-08-15T14:47:00.001-07:00

i had bought you second hand
handed you off into bad custody
you said you felt deserted and abused
by the way we reunited
and the good times
are killing me.

2007-08-15T14:13:00.001-07:00

you surfed the board of kindness
but then you reached the shore.
your slaves rowed you home
in a peace boat
while you watched oliver twist
mopping the paneled floor.

just another lonesome rider
sailing round the world
on the shoulders of giants
the wind in his face and
his back up against the wall

with a bit of an edge

2007-08-11T10:59:00.001-07:00

you've been known for your folksy manner
and you did an outstanding job
playing russian roulette

and then co-sleeping in the captain's bed.
we just came here for relaxation
down the road to somewhere
at a place called hope-

there's marble floors
and a french double bed
there's an oasis of health
and a handsome bachelorette.

just trust the king,
he's warmhearted and cunning
with a bit of an edge.

2007-08-04T20:05:00.000-07:00

why'd you say you're ugly
when daddy called you beautiful.
why'd you claim you're sick in the head
mommy always praised your mind.
you suffer from perfect health
and we love you all the same.
yes we love you all the same.

you asked

2007-08-04T19:51:00.000-07:00

all the wrong questions
i gave
all the right answers
you frowned
and turned away
now you want to be my friend?

2007-08-04T19:44:00.000-07:00

today i talked
to the picture of dorian grey.
i let him know
i'd never face his face.

before i killed your heart

2007-08-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

do you remember your life
the life you led
the life you had
before i killed your heart

your lips were full and red
your hips were round and rich
you wore
aristocratic cheekbones
before i killed your heart

you dyed your hair
you blushed your face
mascara masked your eyes
before i killed your heart

and now you're raw
your nature shows
the paint has dried
the face has greyed

and finally you're beautiful
now that I’ve killed your heart

2007-08-02T19:21:00.000-07:00

embers shoot up into the air
this hillside ignites once again
million dollar mansions are going up in flames

we're just hoping
the weather will hold out today
the winds are going to be intense

the grinders are the engine of the boat

a controversive billboard
(it advertised on lifelong love)
is swallowed by flames
give a toast to the title

ode to saigon

2007-08-02T19:20:00.002-07:00

i had no idea
what i was getting myself into
when i boarded a plane to saigon

for what did i know about explosively formed projectiles?